Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
The questions that I'm talking about are the simple one's that we learned in the 2nd grade; who?, what?, when?, where?, why?, and how?. So here's the theory: everyone has one question that they particularly cling to. Most engineers want to know how things work; historians of various sorts ask the who and where questions; and psychologists want to know why. These different questions shape people's lives by giving them something specific to study and analyze.
The question that I ask is "why?". This question drives my very being (now don't think that, I do have a social life). Even the blog that I write in twice a week is an analytical approach to why people act the way they do. I find that when I can figure out why something is the way it is then I can understand it. These understandings come from something as simple as a math process to something as complicated as the human brain.
In math I find that I can do perfectly in the class if I know why the equations work the way they do. If a process is just thrown in front of me, I will be able to do it, but I won't be able to do it correctly all of the time. Some people are the opposite. If they learn why something is the way it is it only confuses them more. They want to know how to do it or what to do, but when it comes to the question of why they would rather not know. I believe this is why some people can do so much better on certain exams than others. If the subject is difficult to attach to your personal question then it is nearly impossible to attach any amount of importance to it. Without importance it is very difficult for us to want to remember or care about a specific subject. These different questions shape the way that individuals learn and think.
In more social situations I am constantly analyzing why people sit where they sit, or why they say a certain phrase. Other people are perplexed by how someone can talk so fluidly or act so ignorantly. While the rest are trying to get the facts of the stories down. This is just a difference in that personal question; contributing to why each individual takes something different out a a situation. Different interpretations come from different questions, which can cause great confusion but at the same time give great incites into different situations. So next time you find yourself studying math or a social situation, try to figure out what your personal question is. I think you'll be surprised.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Parties are a great way to meet new people, even though sometimes they see you the next night and meet you all over again. Now let me start off by telling those of you that are not big party goers that their are many different types of parties, as well as many different types of people at these parties. There is literally a party for everyone, and not everyone that parties drinks. Many people have learned the art of having fun while sober. So don't always associate parties with forced drinking. I'm going to review a few different types of parties and if I don't hit one that fits you if you ask I'm sure I'll have a match for you.
We will start small and work our way up. Apartment parties can range in size, but because of their limits in size the crowds are usually kept to a more familiar group of people. If you are the type of person who would much rather just be a round a group of close friends this is probably the party place for you. Apartment parties are usually much more casual (hoodie and jeans). They also present a much more intimate conversation atmosphere. Many times there will be games like Rock Band or Guitar Hero being played. Also at an apartment party there is plenty of furniture for the people there, and if there's not the floor is usually pretty clean (unlike many larger parties). So lets recap. Apartment parties are excellent avenues for smaller tighter knit groups, or groups that want to become more closely knit. They also provide seating and other avenues of entertainment besides just talking.
The next level up on the intensity scale is the house party. Now these parties are a mix between the apartment and the fraternity (which we will talk about later). House parties have a bit more space than the classic apartment and provide a couple of rooms to party in). Extra rooms means that different personalities and and activities can occur and not interfere with one another. Depending on the type of house party the kitchen can be a place for various card and skill games (take it as you will). The living room can serve two purposes. If the atmosphere is a calmer one as in an apartment party classic wanna be video games are played with much intensity. If the party is one of a higher intensity the living room can serve as a dance floor with music blaring and people of all types strutting, or attempting to, strut their stuff. So what have we learned? House parties are for people that are still looking for a familiar atmosphere, but don't mind meeting new people and letting loose a bit more.
Now for the Fraternity party...dun dun duhnnnnnn!!! Now fraternity parties can be a bit intimidating for some people. These are venues with a ton of people most of which you do not know. The music is loud, dancing is highly encouraged, and intimate conversation is not an easy task. If you get claustrophobic these parties are not the place for you. Another thing to keep in mind about a fraternity party is that it is actually someones home. So they do get a little testy at times when people they do not know are disrespecting that (possibly another blog entry). Most fraternities offer a lot of space. If you get bored in one section just start to wander to another. There will be new people to meet and hang out with. Most people at fraternities like to be social and are OK with new people coming up, introducing, and talking with them. Now don't be a creeper about it, but Fraternities are a great way to meet tons of new people that eventually could end up being some pretty good friends. The fraternity parties scare some shyer (not sure if that's a word) people away, but they are a place where everyone is looking dance, to meet new people, and to leave having had a great time.
There truly is a social setting for everyone. Don't ever think that because you aren't the most social person that you can't go out to have a good time with friends. Now don't get me wrong not every party is for everyone. Some people hate going to fraternities while others think that apartment parties are boring. I personally enjoy both. The different social atmospheres bring different positive attributes to the table. Parties range in size, intensity, and type. Don't be scared to find your fit.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Many people make the mistake of attaching physical attraction and interaction with emotional feelings that never previously existed for this person. Whether it be a hook-up at a party or a friend that you have known for awhile, it doesn't matter. Previous to that kiss, or whatever..., you never thought of this person in a relationship context. However, after this incident of passion you feel yourself thinking about this person or turning over the posibilities of dating this person. Now this doesn't make you wierd; it just makes you confused.
The limbic system, center for emotions, loves to play games. When a physical attraction or incident occurs hormones and other chemicals are released into the brain and other areas of the body that bring emotions into play. Now here is where people make the mistake. Those feelings are not real, they are not genuine, and they won't last. Sorry! Unless there were feelings there to begin with, physical attraction and physical situations can not cause nor sustain an emotional connection. Now I don't expect you to take my word for it, so lets set up a scenario.
Now if we take a look at this we will see why it will not work. You are attending a "function" where the music is loud and people seem to be coming out of the walls. You begin to scan the crowd. Ding ding ding! We have a winner. You start the usual small talk (major, hometown, residence...) and while doing so you are checking this new found friend out. This is where the physical attraction begins. "Oooo...my favorite song". You begin to dance (sway for some). Now where it goes from there is up to you, but I think we get the picture.
Now all you know about this person is, hopefully, there name, hometown, and other minor details. You might have their phone number, and the next day all you can think about is that person. You may even text them and soon realize that this conversation has no substance. Uh-oh. Should we keep trying and forcing this conversation to last? No! You don't like this person, but your limbic system does. The emotional-physical battle is one that is fought all to often. People find themselevs head over heels for someone they just got to know in more intimate sense. While the physical is fun at the time, it is absolutly necesary to remember that true feelings for someone can only be real if there is not a recent physical situation coming into play.
Monday, February 2, 2009
This separation can be good however. I have found that when two or three members of a larger group have time alone together that is when the more personal conversation arises. People feel that they can be more open in more intimate situations. This allows for the different members of the group to get to know one another more and in more depth. This is when it seems that the real bonds are formed. Be warned though. This is also a great opportunity for those members of the group to talk about the quality of the other people that make up this group of friends.
Now hopefully no one enjoys sitting around the TV degrading and finding all the faults of someone that they call a friend, but it does tend to happen. Whether this is caused by an event that happened earlier that day or from a lack of other conversation it tends to come up quiet regularly. The phrase "I love him/her to death, but..." is a commonly used one when people are talking about their friends. This phrase shows that the person talking does indeed care about that person, but there's just something about him/her that isn't right. Most times this conversation between the small group is never supposed to leave the group. It is just venting or a discussion in order to attempt to understand a person better. Right?
Unfortunately this is not always the case. As hard as people try it is very difficult for them to keep their mouths shut about anything. Once another void in the conversation occurs and another small group begins to talk. Secrets are let out and the drama begins. What started as small talk easily turns into "true feelings" and rumors. This occurs all to often. Whether eves dropping on a conversation or participating in one I'm sure that you have all realized how much people begin to talk about one another, especially those that they are close to. But why do we do it?
It happens for a variety of reasons. Some people talk about there friends negatively in order to make themselves feel better about themselves. Others talk about these people for the simple reason that they do not understand the situations fully or the person fully. No one likes it when they figure out a puzzle or problem. Therefore they begin to talk it over in order to try to understand. The same happens in social situations. I believe the main cause of gossip and rumors is because people are genuinely trying to find a reason for the behavior or words of a friend. However, in the end they only end up hurting that individual.