Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Their children were old and living life, and I believe that was the difficult part for some moms. It was the realization that their children were taking care of themselves and did not need their hand held. The years of work that went into raising their children had come to a close and now a new part of their life had begun. This doesn't mean that the mothers job is over (most would be devastated) it just means that it is different.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Facebook is one of the largest social networks. It provides services such as an AIM style chat, picture portfolios, videos, e-mail type messages, and wall comments. There are also many different applications that are available in order to enhance your profile. One feature that Facebook is known for is its news feed which is how it acquired the nickname Stalkerbook.
Facebook's "news feed" is the home page of every persons account. This section allows you to see information that your Facebook friends are posting and sharing with each other. This takes a lot of the leg work out of stalking. With relationship changes and new pictures flashing up onto your screen you can't help but take an interest. This information is often a catalyst in visiting an individuals' site and searching through their posted information.
I know that the very day that my new roommate information came in the mail, I got on Facebook and searched for him. I found him very quickly, friend requested him, and in a matter of hours he accepted. Once this occurred the stalking began. I wanted to learn everything I could about my new roommate. I looked through his pictures, his likes and dislikes, and even through some of his bumper stickers in order to get a sense of who he was and what he was about. I concluded that he was a weirdo.
Eventually we talked on Facebook and got to know each other that way. Some of my qualms about this new roommate were relieved, and we began to form a friendship. The first day that we met, I already felt that I knew him, and it was not an awkward situation.
I used Facebook to get to know somebody before actually meeting them. However, this is not a fool proof method. I misjudged my roommate and began to associate him with all sorts of stereotypes and other labels. When I got to know him in person some of these were proved to be false.
Many people, including myself, use Facebook as a first reference in social situations. It is used to find more information about a person's personal life. So be warned as to what you put on your Facebook page. Stalkerbook is a resource for social connections and interactions, but it is also a cyber first impression and in today's world that can make or break you.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The first is a more honest state when drunk. The person will be more apt to call their ex and beg to get back together, or they may tell them off. Its a mix of emotions that leads a drunk individual to feel as though they have made progress when in the morning they will realize that there were consequences for those words.
The second path is a "free" state. The drunk person will feel as though the only way to get over their ex is by having a great time and by showing him/her that they can have fun without the other's company. This leads the upset individual to do one or more of the following: get blackout drunk, get sick, be a social butterfly: being either creepy or smooth )creepy leads to fights; smooth leads to intimate activities), and having the confidence to venture outside of the party atmosphere (public places have cops...). All of these actions have consequences that must be dealt with if not at that time in the morning.
None of these actions nor consequences are what were desired in the beginning. The purpose of the person's drinking was to get rid of a specific emotion. Whether the emotion began to go away or not doesn't matter. If it did the person drinks more in order to keep up the effect. If it did not, the person drinks more in order to get it to. Both of these paths lead to consequences that will lead to regret. Drinking with one's emotions never turns out the way it was meant to. It doesn't work. If you are going to drink there cannot be a hidden agenda. And usually if this is a true a person will drink less and come out in the end with a positive experience.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Text messaging is huge in today's society. The technology that was originally created for the hearing impaired has become common place amongst young people, and now as well with their parents. Text messaging is a convenient and quick way to send a memo or piece of information that does not warrant a full phone call. Now I know that's no longer how it is used. People now have full conversations that last entire days through text messaging. The day of the phone call seems to be disappearing.
Now how can this be considered a social situation? Well here's the deal. Text messaging is very vague and requires interpretation. When we have a conversation face to face we can use body language and tone of voice to interpret the meaning of what another is saying. In order to express meaning we spell the way a word would sound. We also ask quite a few more questions in order to clarify what the other is saying. Let's begin the analysis.
The vagueness of texting can be used to great advantages in finding out information, social information. If you are an avid texter you have found yourself thinking about how to phrase something. Most times its because there is a hidden meaning it what you are saying. You are trying to find something out without having to directly ask it. This is much easier with texting than person to person because body language is not a factor. The other person has a difficult time noticing that there is a hidden agenda and will be more apt to say what they are thinking.
Lying is also a lot easier through text message. Don't act like you don't lie, whether its to protect the secret of a birthday party or to protect a friend it doesn't matter. Without eye contact and other body orientated clues it is very difficult to catch another person in a lie. People have to take texting at face value because there is a certain kind of deniability by the sender if they are questioned about the topic.
For these reasons I believe that many people are much more confident through texting or other written media forms. They do not feel the pressures and judgements of those around them. They can say what they feel, and if the other person doesn't like it the consequences do not have to be dealt with at that moment. The situation can be averted by just ignoring the text. Now this can cause many other problems, but it does show how much person to person conflict and interaction can be intimidating for many people. Expressionless media is a sort of escape for many people, while at the same time allowing them to feel connected to friends and others.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
The questions that I'm talking about are the simple one's that we learned in the 2nd grade; who?, what?, when?, where?, why?, and how?. So here's the theory: everyone has one question that they particularly cling to. Most engineers want to know how things work; historians of various sorts ask the who and where questions; and psychologists want to know why. These different questions shape people's lives by giving them something specific to study and analyze.
The question that I ask is "why?". This question drives my very being (now don't think that, I do have a social life). Even the blog that I write in twice a week is an analytical approach to why people act the way they do. I find that when I can figure out why something is the way it is then I can understand it. These understandings come from something as simple as a math process to something as complicated as the human brain.
In math I find that I can do perfectly in the class if I know why the equations work the way they do. If a process is just thrown in front of me, I will be able to do it, but I won't be able to do it correctly all of the time. Some people are the opposite. If they learn why something is the way it is it only confuses them more. They want to know how to do it or what to do, but when it comes to the question of why they would rather not know. I believe this is why some people can do so much better on certain exams than others. If the subject is difficult to attach to your personal question then it is nearly impossible to attach any amount of importance to it. Without importance it is very difficult for us to want to remember or care about a specific subject. These different questions shape the way that individuals learn and think.
In more social situations I am constantly analyzing why people sit where they sit, or why they say a certain phrase. Other people are perplexed by how someone can talk so fluidly or act so ignorantly. While the rest are trying to get the facts of the stories down. This is just a difference in that personal question; contributing to why each individual takes something different out a a situation. Different interpretations come from different questions, which can cause great confusion but at the same time give great incites into different situations. So next time you find yourself studying math or a social situation, try to figure out what your personal question is. I think you'll be surprised.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Parties are a great way to meet new people, even though sometimes they see you the next night and meet you all over again. Now let me start off by telling those of you that are not big party goers that their are many different types of parties, as well as many different types of people at these parties. There is literally a party for everyone, and not everyone that parties drinks. Many people have learned the art of having fun while sober. So don't always associate parties with forced drinking. I'm going to review a few different types of parties and if I don't hit one that fits you if you ask I'm sure I'll have a match for you.
We will start small and work our way up. Apartment parties can range in size, but because of their limits in size the crowds are usually kept to a more familiar group of people. If you are the type of person who would much rather just be a round a group of close friends this is probably the party place for you. Apartment parties are usually much more casual (hoodie and jeans). They also present a much more intimate conversation atmosphere. Many times there will be games like Rock Band or Guitar Hero being played. Also at an apartment party there is plenty of furniture for the people there, and if there's not the floor is usually pretty clean (unlike many larger parties). So lets recap. Apartment parties are excellent avenues for smaller tighter knit groups, or groups that want to become more closely knit. They also provide seating and other avenues of entertainment besides just talking.
The next level up on the intensity scale is the house party. Now these parties are a mix between the apartment and the fraternity (which we will talk about later). House parties have a bit more space than the classic apartment and provide a couple of rooms to party in). Extra rooms means that different personalities and and activities can occur and not interfere with one another. Depending on the type of house party the kitchen can be a place for various card and skill games (take it as you will). The living room can serve two purposes. If the atmosphere is a calmer one as in an apartment party classic wanna be video games are played with much intensity. If the party is one of a higher intensity the living room can serve as a dance floor with music blaring and people of all types strutting, or attempting to, strut their stuff. So what have we learned? House parties are for people that are still looking for a familiar atmosphere, but don't mind meeting new people and letting loose a bit more.
Now for the Fraternity party...dun dun duhnnnnnn!!! Now fraternity parties can be a bit intimidating for some people. These are venues with a ton of people most of which you do not know. The music is loud, dancing is highly encouraged, and intimate conversation is not an easy task. If you get claustrophobic these parties are not the place for you. Another thing to keep in mind about a fraternity party is that it is actually someones home. So they do get a little testy at times when people they do not know are disrespecting that (possibly another blog entry). Most fraternities offer a lot of space. If you get bored in one section just start to wander to another. There will be new people to meet and hang out with. Most people at fraternities like to be social and are OK with new people coming up, introducing, and talking with them. Now don't be a creeper about it, but Fraternities are a great way to meet tons of new people that eventually could end up being some pretty good friends. The fraternity parties scare some shyer (not sure if that's a word) people away, but they are a place where everyone is looking dance, to meet new people, and to leave having had a great time.
There truly is a social setting for everyone. Don't ever think that because you aren't the most social person that you can't go out to have a good time with friends. Now don't get me wrong not every party is for everyone. Some people hate going to fraternities while others think that apartment parties are boring. I personally enjoy both. The different social atmospheres bring different positive attributes to the table. Parties range in size, intensity, and type. Don't be scared to find your fit.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Many people make the mistake of attaching physical attraction and interaction with emotional feelings that never previously existed for this person. Whether it be a hook-up at a party or a friend that you have known for awhile, it doesn't matter. Previous to that kiss, or whatever..., you never thought of this person in a relationship context. However, after this incident of passion you feel yourself thinking about this person or turning over the posibilities of dating this person. Now this doesn't make you wierd; it just makes you confused.
The limbic system, center for emotions, loves to play games. When a physical attraction or incident occurs hormones and other chemicals are released into the brain and other areas of the body that bring emotions into play. Now here is where people make the mistake. Those feelings are not real, they are not genuine, and they won't last. Sorry! Unless there were feelings there to begin with, physical attraction and physical situations can not cause nor sustain an emotional connection. Now I don't expect you to take my word for it, so lets set up a scenario.
Now if we take a look at this we will see why it will not work. You are attending a "function" where the music is loud and people seem to be coming out of the walls. You begin to scan the crowd. Ding ding ding! We have a winner. You start the usual small talk (major, hometown, residence...) and while doing so you are checking this new found friend out. This is where the physical attraction begins. "Oooo...my favorite song". You begin to dance (sway for some). Now where it goes from there is up to you, but I think we get the picture.
Now all you know about this person is, hopefully, there name, hometown, and other minor details. You might have their phone number, and the next day all you can think about is that person. You may even text them and soon realize that this conversation has no substance. Uh-oh. Should we keep trying and forcing this conversation to last? No! You don't like this person, but your limbic system does. The emotional-physical battle is one that is fought all to often. People find themselevs head over heels for someone they just got to know in more intimate sense. While the physical is fun at the time, it is absolutly necesary to remember that true feelings for someone can only be real if there is not a recent physical situation coming into play.
Monday, February 2, 2009
This separation can be good however. I have found that when two or three members of a larger group have time alone together that is when the more personal conversation arises. People feel that they can be more open in more intimate situations. This allows for the different members of the group to get to know one another more and in more depth. This is when it seems that the real bonds are formed. Be warned though. This is also a great opportunity for those members of the group to talk about the quality of the other people that make up this group of friends.
Now hopefully no one enjoys sitting around the TV degrading and finding all the faults of someone that they call a friend, but it does tend to happen. Whether this is caused by an event that happened earlier that day or from a lack of other conversation it tends to come up quiet regularly. The phrase "I love him/her to death, but..." is a commonly used one when people are talking about their friends. This phrase shows that the person talking does indeed care about that person, but there's just something about him/her that isn't right. Most times this conversation between the small group is never supposed to leave the group. It is just venting or a discussion in order to attempt to understand a person better. Right?
Unfortunately this is not always the case. As hard as people try it is very difficult for them to keep their mouths shut about anything. Once another void in the conversation occurs and another small group begins to talk. Secrets are let out and the drama begins. What started as small talk easily turns into "true feelings" and rumors. This occurs all to often. Whether eves dropping on a conversation or participating in one I'm sure that you have all realized how much people begin to talk about one another, especially those that they are close to. But why do we do it?
It happens for a variety of reasons. Some people talk about there friends negatively in order to make themselves feel better about themselves. Others talk about these people for the simple reason that they do not understand the situations fully or the person fully. No one likes it when they figure out a puzzle or problem. Therefore they begin to talk it over in order to try to understand. The same happens in social situations. I believe the main cause of gossip and rumors is because people are genuinely trying to find a reason for the behavior or words of a friend. However, in the end they only end up hurting that individual.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The easiest way I found to accomplish this was to sit next to a group of them at the dinner table. That way I could introduce myself to a large group, allowing more than one person to get to know me at a time. This also allowed for fewer awkward silences. It allowed me to participate in many conversations in order to get to know a little about them and to see if these brothers fit me.
Now honestly not just anyone fits into any house. Like personalities tend to migrate toward each other. Some houses are for specific majors and have other requirments; however, with 47 fraternities on campus there is a fit for anyone who is interested. The hardest part is realizing where you fit. Many people try to rush a house because of its reputation not because of the guys that live there. This is a huge mistake. By trying to change yourself to fit that profile you lose who you are and in the end those are the people that drop or get weeded out. Taking time to realize what youre are about and who you are is vitally important when deciding which house is right for you.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The main reason people claim that they do not care is because they know that people are getting the wrong first impression, or that they themselves don't fully understand what impression they give. These individuals have given up trying to change people's opinions about them, hence the "not caring".
First impressions last a very long time, and no matter how hard someone tries not to judge or jump to conclusions it is very difficult when you are sporting a crazy hair-do. Classmates, friends of friends, and employers all use first impressions in order to put all of the new people surrounding them into a category. Sometimes these first impressions can cost someone a job or make the first days of classes very awkward and unwelcoming.
I'm not saying that anyone has to fit a certain mold or act a certain way; I'm just saying that everyone needs to be aware of what type of vibe or impressions they are giving off to those around them. Most people do not even realize that they seem unapproachable, slutty, socially awkward, geeky...
These stereotypes and labels can come from a wide array of factors such as body position, clothing choice, facial expressions, and many others. All of these factors seem very specific and picky, but they are the subtle things that people pick out in order to help them feel like they know you or understand you. It's inevitable. People are going to gain an impression of you, good or bad, the first time they even lay eyes on you.
So just be sure that the things that you are doing, or not doing, are what you want to be remembered by when someone thinks of you.