Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Emotional/Physical Battle

Oh hormones!! They are so small, yet they play such a huge part in our decision making. This is especially true when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Yea, I went there (however I will keep it G rated). As hard as we try, and no matter how good we think we are neither men nor women will ever be able to unlock the mysteries of the other. Some people get close, and sometimes you may believe you have it down; each person is diferent, and feelings and emotions change in an instant. So whats my point?

Many people make the mistake of attaching physical attraction and interaction with emotional feelings that never previously existed for this person. Whether it be a hook-up at a party or a friend that you have known for awhile, it doesn't matter. Previous to that kiss, or whatever..., you never thought of this person in a relationship context. However, after this incident of passion you feel yourself thinking about this person or turning over the posibilities of dating this person. Now this doesn't make you wierd; it just makes you confused.

The limbic system, center for emotions, loves to play games. When a physical attraction or incident occurs hormones and other chemicals are released into the brain and other areas of the body that bring emotions into play. Now here is where people make the mistake. Those feelings are not real, they are not genuine, and they won't last. Sorry! Unless there were feelings there to begin with, physical attraction and physical situations can not cause nor sustain an emotional connection. Now I don't expect you to take my word for it, so lets set up a scenario.

Now if we take a look at this we will see why it will not work. You are attending a "function" where the music is loud and people seem to be coming out of the walls. You begin to scan the crowd. Ding ding ding! We have a winner. You start the usual small talk (major, hometown, residence...) and while doing so you are checking this new found friend out. This is where the physical attraction begins. " favorite song". You begin to dance (sway for some). Now where it goes from there is up to you, but I think we get the picture.

Now all you know about this person is, hopefully, there name, hometown, and other minor details. You might have their phone number, and the next day all you can think about is that person. You may even text them and soon realize that this conversation has no substance. Uh-oh. Should we keep trying and forcing this conversation to last? No! You don't like this person, but your limbic system does. The emotional-physical battle is one that is fought all to often. People find themselevs head over heels for someone they just got to know in more intimate sense. While the physical is fun at the time, it is absolutly necesary to remember that true feelings for someone can only be real if there is not a recent physical situation coming into play.

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of something I once heard:
    'Puppy love can lead to a dog's life'
    Feelings/emotions may arise from the anatomical structure, but unless such are processed through the brain and ones value system, they may do more damage than good. Feelings? Woe, woe, woe goes the song. 'Noble' feelings require the cognitive and volitional as conditioned by values to truly be classed as noble. --dmp