Tuesday, February 17, 2009

From "Friends" to Friends

Let's take a trip back to the first weeks of school. BGR week with all of its activities and no worries, syllabus week where we were reminded why we came to school, and then finally the beginnings of real work. Oh what wonderful memories. Now I want you to think about the people that surrounded you that week; your new "besties". Now look around you today. Who surrounds you now? I would venture to guess that good deal of those "besties" don't play such a large role in your day to day life anymore.

The first couple weeks of school are a time to meet tons of new people and get acclimated to life on your own. New freshman, myself included, needed to find new friends and associates to take place of those that had to be left behind. Roommates, BGR group members, and floor mates are the first people that really break the barriers of small talk. Spending a majority of time with these people allows time to hang out as well as for more in depth conversation. We begin to learn about these other peoples' lives before college. We feel like we know them and we are on a social high. Nothing could go wrong. All of these people are so cool. Hmmmmm...sounds a little to perfect.

The first couple weeks for me were blissful. I had a really good group of guys and had met some really cool girls through BGR. Me and my roommate talked at night and got into some deep conversations pertaining to life. I spent a lot of time with the guys in my BGR group and didn't really know much about my floor. After awhile I started realizing that there were quite a few inside jokes that i didn't understand and that no one would explain to me. Dane Cook says in one of his skits, that every group has a person that nobody like, that becomes the butt of everyone's jokes...Every group has a Karen. After awhile I began to realize that I was the Karen of the group. Wow! Now what? It was time to start finding people that liked me for me.

I believe everyone has gone through something like this while here at Purdue. The people you get close to initially begin to show their true colors once you actually get to know them past the surface layer of their character. Everyone loves everyone and no one fights the first few weeks of school because no one actually knows what anyone else is about. It takes much more than a few BGR activities to truly know anyone. While some people do get matched up with the right people during roommate selection and BGR others do not. During those first few weeks you do meet all kinds of new people; however, they are not the only people on this campus. Never stop meeting new people, because somewhere a "bestie" really does exist, but it takes much more than 3 weeks to know exactly who that is.


  1. I definitely know exactly what you are talking about in this post. I have noticed recently that people I felt very close to the first months of school even are no longer around. I do think BGR gave a false sense of security in the friendship department. With that being said though, I also have people that I have grown very close to and feel they will be around forever. I liked how you related this not only to yourself but to every college freshman. That made it feel like you weren't just telling your story but a story that is shared by many other people as well. I liked reading this post and knowing there is someone else out there going through the same thing.

  2. You also notice once you go off to college who your real friends were in high school. I have had very little contact with these "friends" since graduation. It usually takes me awhile to open up to new people, so I haven't been able to make many new friends in the residence halls. Sure I know people's names, but I don't know much else about them, and they don't know much about me. Most of my new friends here at college are from church. These are the people that I know I can trust to always be there for me when I need them most.

  3. I agree, you don't truly know people until you spend time with them. I think that a lot of people lose touch with the friends they came with. But, there are those who don't know anyone to begin with.
    I think its kind of sad how you tried to open up with some people and they turned you into the butt of their jokes. It's awesome how you kept trying and met new people. I've heard that the friends you make in college stick around for your life. It is a comforting thought that we can build lifetime friendships from scratch in a new environment. Thanks for reminding me of the importance of reaching out.

  4. I completely agree with you. During BGR I thought I had met people that would become my new best friends. But once I came off that social high you mentioned, I started realizing these people weren't really like me. I think one of the main reasons I became "attached" to my BGR friends at first was because I was scared of not having any friends. Fortunately now I've met some friends that I truly consider to be good friends. I know now that true friendships don't just happen after a week. I think a lot of people can probably relate to this blog. I really enjoyed it.